i think the problem is as follows:
before i indulge myself in an uncensored act-as i used to always- i know think out the course of events in my head; and remembering humiliation and shame in past moments, that arent so far away--i choose to doubt my intelect and witty, silly smile. i dont think i live as much now. its a fear that conquers even the closest attachment...and leads a girl to think shes crazy more often than not.

josh's birthday was monday. if i hadnt had a spiritual yet cosmic talk with shelly i never wouldve even remembered. im such a asshole. so i called him today-pez said hi-josh was as wonderful as he ever was...sigh.

i should be on the oc-im better than all those fuckers.

haha oc?
oc sucks man ^_^ hi im new to this place and i need friends. haha so um yeah hellooo
» xcutthroatkissx on 2004-04-15 12:56:18

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